Do any of you have a problem with unwanted advice?
I have a few coworkers who are always offering unsolicited and unwanted advice.
Now, I know they mean well, and I appreciate that. They aren’t advising me based on any personal gain for themselves (unlike the former coworker who always advised me to use specific Mary Kay products – of course, she also sold Mary Kay). There sometimes seems to be an air of “I know everything” along with this advice, but really, a lot of great advice comes with that. After all, how can you advise without some knowledge?
Lately, however, I feel like I’m being bombarded with unwanted advice from a few people. Something happens and I hear “Oh, you should…” Well, thank you for that advice, but that’s actually pretty terrible advice. I’m really starting to get frustrated by it. But I think that other than my current plan, which is to smile, nod, and thank them for their advice, all the while planning to not follow it (after all, it’s often something I’ve already considered and decided against), there’s not much I can do. Clearly, I don’t want to come off as rude. I do appreciate that others are trying to help, but I wonder if they realize just how arrogant they are beginning to sound. It’s one thing to advise on occasion, but on a daily basis?
Does anyone else deal with unwanted advice? What do you do to keep from getting frustrated?
I get that sometimes — just because you are older, does not mean you are wiser. The main advice I hate is advice about why I should buy a home. Don’t you think I’ve thought about it on my own?!
It’s just because they don’t want you to make the same mistakes they did. Or at least that’s why *I* give unsolicited advice. Or maybe because they like trying to fix other people’s problems. I have that issue too.
And @SP- older might not mean wiser, but it does mean more life experience.
I got a lot of advice when I was young. Like you, I was put off by it. In hindsight, a lot of the advice I got was great and well-meaning. If only I had listened!
Having said that, a lot of advice is also justification for that person’s life choice. I always hear the “buy a house” advice. I don’t want to go into an in-depth conversation about the pros and cons of homebuying. I don’t want to tie up my investments on property and I’m still not convinced buying a house is an investment. Of course the advice-giver doesn’t want to hear that. We all have to make our own choices.
Respond with ‘hmm… that’s something to think about’ and leave it at that. The advisor feels like he/she was heard and you don’t have to explain your position on their advice.
“The main advice I hate is advice about why I should buy a home. Don’t you think I’ve thought about it on my own?!”
I could not say it any better than this. Amen!
I’m very much a devil’s advocate type of person, so I can usually come up with good reasons why I am not doing something, but I’m also fairly blunt, so I’ll be very upfront if I’ve had enough advice on a certain subject.