I have an etiquette question for all of you. An acquaintance of mine recently received a baby shower invitation for a friend, complete with link to a registry. Her qualms with this? The pregnant friend had a baby shower three years ago for her first child.
She and I were both under the impression that a person should only have a baby shower for their first child. Of course, there are exceptions, such as:
- The second child is being born 10 years after the first
- The woman is pregnant with twins and suddenly needs two of everything
Now, we came up with a few other exceptions, and of course, a shower that was strictly “no gifts” or “gifts in the form of donations to charity (perhaps even a baby related charity)” would always be acceptable. I went to a shower where the “gift” request was that everyone bring their favorite easy, family-friendly recipe, which was also a lot of fun and turned into a huge recipe exchange (“Oh, that looks good! And your kids eat it? Let me copy that down.”).
There’s nothing wrong with throwing a party to celebrate a baby on the way. But a second shower, with a second request for gifts seems a bit much. I know a lot of women give away their baby items after their child no longer uses them, but is this an excuse to hold a second shower and ask for gifts? Especially when you can get so much free baby stuff.
What do you think? It’s not that I’m stingy, and I often buy gifts for good friends when babies arrive, even if it is a second or third child. But the idea of holding a second shower a few years after the first (and inviting the same people) rubs me the wrong way.
Megan is a 40-something government employee in the Washington, DC area. She got interested in Personal Finance when she got out of college and realized that her paycheck wasn’t going to go as far as she had hoped. Since starting this blog, she has managed to buy a house and make a solid start on her retirement goals, and hopes to help others do the same. Here is her story:
In 2007, I was a gainfully employed 20-something with no debt but not a lot of knowledge about personal finance. It was a co-worker’s comment about Roth IRAs that sent me to the internet, searching for information. It was then that I realized that I really didn’t know a whole lot about personal finance and that my current financial situation was due a lot to inherent frugal tendencies, generous family members, a fear of debt, and good luck. While that was working for me, clearly I needed a better plan.
While I had no debt, I was also pretty much living paycheck to paycheck and not worrying about going over budget (I say this as if I had a real budget) because I had an emergency fund set aside to cover any overages.
Except that’s not what an emergency fund is for.
So I did a lot of research, read a lot of blogs, and decided that I needed a plan. I needed to budget. I needed to know what I was spending my money on. I needed to prepare for the future.
I decided to create a blog not only to make myself accountable to others but also to share the knowledge that I gained along the way. I’ve learned so much from my fellow bloggers, and I hope that my readers can find something useful in what I have to share as well.