I am attending a bridal shower this weekend for a friend. She’s not a close friend, but I like her quite a bit, and wish we did spend more time together.
I’m in a bit of a dilemma as to what to get her for a gift. The bridal shower doesn’t seem to be themed in any sort of way, but the invite did mention registries. Also, since we’re not really great friends, what is my obligation here? Should I be giving a small gift or a larger gift? I can’t imagine that I’ll be invited to the wedding, so that’s not an issue.
I looked over the registry, and all that’s left are either expensive things or things that really wouldn’t make a great gift. I’m looking in the $35 dollar range right now, I think, and sure, they did register for a cooling rack, but that seems like a boring way to spend $35. Yes, they might want it, but I don’t want to give it.
So I’m leaning towards a gift card. My mom suggested a gift card with something little tied to the card, like some wooden spoons or spatulas or something. The sort of thing everyone uses but really doesn’t register for and doesn’t cost a lot. My mom puts together some great gifts. And this way, they can get the cooling rack they want, and I still get to give a fun gift. Or they can spend it on something else they might want.
Some people think that gift cards are tacky, and I definitely don’t want to be tacky. But having spoken to friends who have gotten married in recent years, usually what they can use the most is money. I had two friends planning a cross-country move for right after their wedding, and I wrote them a check, knowing how expensive moving can be. I hinted in the note that they should spend it on something fun for themselves, and I hope that my gift allowed them to go to a nice dinner or something along those lines, but hey, if it helped pay for moving boxes, so be it. But I’m a fan of useful gifts, and I think that maybe a gift card to Macy’s (one of the places they registered) might be the most useful thing. And not so obvious as a check, if gifts are opened at the party.
Thoughts? For you soon to be married or marrieds, what was your experience with wedding gifts? What could you have used the most? Did you get five bread machines? And does anyone else have a set plan when it comes to buying or making wedding gifts?
Megan is a 40-something government employee in the Washington, DC area. She got interested in Personal Finance when she got out of college and realized that her paycheck wasn’t going to go as far as she had hoped. Since starting this blog, she has managed to buy a house and make a solid start on her retirement goals, and hopes to help others do the same. Here is her story:
In 2007, I was a gainfully employed 20-something with no debt but not a lot of knowledge about personal finance. It was a co-worker’s comment about Roth IRAs that sent me to the internet, searching for information. It was then that I realized that I really didn’t know a whole lot about personal finance and that my current financial situation was due a lot to inherent frugal tendencies, generous family members, a fear of debt, and good luck. While that was working for me, clearly I needed a better plan.
While I had no debt, I was also pretty much living paycheck to paycheck and not worrying about going over budget (I say this as if I had a real budget) because I had an emergency fund set aside to cover any overages.
Except that’s not what an emergency fund is for.
So I did a lot of research, read a lot of blogs, and decided that I needed a plan. I needed to budget. I needed to know what I was spending my money on. I needed to prepare for the future.
I decided to create a blog not only to make myself accountable to others but also to share the knowledge that I gained along the way. I’ve learned so much from my fellow bloggers, and I hope that my readers can find something useful in what I have to share as well.
I know what you mean…some of the gifts on the registry are boring to give (like a cooling rack) even though they may really want them.
I really liked getting checks with our wedding cards, so we could use it to help pay for some new furniture (that you wouldn’t register for).
I don’t think that I got any checks at my shower, though, since you do open the gifts in front of the guests. However, I think that the gift card with some cute accessories (like the wooden spoons, etc), would be a good idea. Then, they can buy what they want when it’s all said and done.
Many people stuck to the registry, but there are those that don’t, so you end up with some “interesting” gifts (not that you don’t appreciate them).
I would buy something off the registry, but if there are only expensive things left, a gift card would be fine.
Also, “etiquette” says someone shouldn’t be invited to a shower if they aren’t invited to the wedding. But I don’t think that is strict rule.
Good luck!
I usually group several smaller kitchen things (dishtowels, wooden spoons) in a gift basket for a wedding gift. If you go off registry you run the risk of getting something they absolutely hate.
The idea of a gift card with something small would be great. So if they do open gifts in front of everyone, it’s not like “hey, look! A gift card!”
I think your mom has a great idea. A gift card with a little something is perfect. My husband and I got married a couple years ago and I personally loved getting the gift cards because I used them to get the really large items we registered for (stuff I never expected anyone to buy us but wanted to get it discounted). You could get a cute dishtowel and tow small wooden spoons tie them together and attache the gift card. I recently did this as bridal shower favors as you can see in this post – http://christinasfavoritethings.blogspot.com/2009/04/weekend-recap.html
I am in (almost) the same dilemma! Except that I did not attend the wedding shower (it was a couples shower instead of just a bridal shower) and they did the same thing with the registries. I went to her bachelorette party ($30 gift) and I’m invited to the wedding next month since she is a close friend. My Mom also suggested getting a gift card (like Home Depot or something that will be useful, esp since they own a house) and attach something little to it as well! Except that my Mom said I should give at LEAST $50… even though I already spent $30 for her gift. (No worries, it’s all covered from my Gift Fund!)
So, I like the idea of a gift card plus something small that’s also useful. 🙂
Let me know what you end up doing or if you want to exchange thoughts/ideas via email. Good luck!