My roommate informed me yesterday that she is planning to move out in November, provided everything works out with the other roommates in the shared house she’s hoping to join. Technically, I asked her to give me a month’s notice, which she isn’t doing, but at this point, I’m just glad that she’s moving out.
I guess we are an example of where the roommate situation can really go wrong. She moved in a little over a year ago. She was a graduate student at the time, and we had known each other since our freshman year of college, but had never lived together. While she was a grad student, she wasn’t home a lot – which was good and bad. Good in that I never had to really share my space, but bad because that meant I did all the household chores. For the most part, I didn’t mind, since they were chores I would be doing anyway, but the little things did start to bug me – like when I had to clean the kitchen before and after the dinner she held for her friends, because she wasn’t going to bother to do it.
The situation really hit a breaking point when she finished school and didn’t find a job. She was still paying rent, of course, but she was always home and still not helping with the chores unless I specifically asked her to – and even then, she often forgot. She’s pretty absent minded, so I don’t doubt that she forgot, but after a rough day of work, it was annoying to come home and find her watching Jeopardy while ignoring the dishes in the sink.
So she’s moving out. It means that my savings rate is going to take a huge hit. I can afford the rent without her, but I just won’t have as much money to squirrel away at the end of the month. It will make things tight. But I think I’m going to spend a few months on my own and not jump right back into a roommate situation. This one just didn’t work.
I’m hoping that our friendship isn’t totally ruined because of the situation, and I think it can be repaired. I just think that we need a little bit of time apart.
Of course, she tells me she’s moving out the same day I came home to find that wonder of wonders, she actually vacuumed on her own accord. Guess everyone can learn, if you just keep reminding them.
That’s a tough situation to be in. I’ve had roommates who hardly picked up a finger to do housework too. And I’ve been accused of being that sort of roommate. I also had a friend move in with me and we grew apart because we were friends first, then roommates and that just didn’t work out for us. So I can relate to what you’re going through. Hopefully you can repair your friendship and not hold the refusal to clean against her for the rest of your friendship. Karma will come around to her in the end.
Best of luck finding a better roomate. Sometimes it doesn’t gel. I haven’t had a roomate since college and I gotta say I love not having to worry after someone else or worry that I may not be meeting their expectation.
My husband and I actually had a roommate for the first year we were married. While the roommate annoyed me with his less than neat (but not horrible) tendencies and guitar playing at all hours, we still are great friends. Honestly, he is still very much in our lives as he is our childrens’ godfather. He’s a great guy, but I’m glad we no longer live together!