A friend recently lost her job. Not her fault, just one of those downsizing things. She had some hints that it was coming, but I don’t think she had accepted it, so hadn’t done much in terms of looking for new work until after the layoff happened. That was back in July. She’s been looking and she’s had some pretty promising interviews, but nothing yet.
What’s driving me nuts is her complete inability to stop spending.
I try to not be judgmental about what people spend their money on. It’s your money. Do with it what you want. But I personally think you should pay your bills and buy necessities first, then do whatever you want with your disposable income. We all have different interests, so if I want to spend my money on running races and you want to spend your money on a sweet new computer, that’s fine. But note that I said disposable income.
My friend has been spending money like crazy. She’s taken a couple of not inexpensive trips, trips that weren’t planned prior to her layoff. And I know she doesn’t have money. She’s not sure how she’s going to keep paying her mortgage. I’m assuming she’s putting all the trips on her credit card, which is not exactly a responsible way to go about things. She split a hotel room with me and another friend a few weeks back, when we ran a race together. She has made no indication that she plans to repay me. It’s not about the money – it was one night in a hotel room and the other friend, when finding out the situation, offered to split the cost with me without telling unemployed friend. And honestly, I budget such that I can take the loss and chalk it up to a learning experience. But it’s the principle behind it. She doesn’t care enough to pay me back? And yet she can go spending all this money elsewhere?
I think she knows we’re frustrated. She didn’t tell most of us she was taking this last trip until we saw the pictures online. And we know what it cost her. A quick calculation tells me that it was easily $600, probably more. And this wasn’t her first trip during unemployment!
I try to not judge. I really do. But it’s hard to watch her drive herself further and further into financial trouble. And it’s frustrating to listen to her complain when I can see very clear ways she could improve her situation.
But at this point, it’s wait and see.
That’s a tough one. You have every right to be frustrated with her since she clearly owes you money for the hotel room. When you’re unemployed it’s definitely a good time to travel, but to travel frugally, not outlandishly. It’s painful to watch friends make such stupid money mistakes that will hurt them later on, and then they’ll probably come to you for help. That’s when it gets hard for you – do you help, or say I wanted to tell you so?